We’ve had our mini horses for about a year now. Rooster was pretty mistrustful of humans when he arrived, so I allowed him to just BE and gave him time to accept me on his terms and his time instead of forcing myself on him.
Time has passed and the relationship has certainly improved. However, it has also reached a plateau. I’ve been waiting for him to show me when he’s ready to take the next step.
The other day I got tired of waiting and decided to initiate the next step myself. That’s when it hit me that he was never going to take the next step because he was perfectly happy with the way things were. AND–since I’d never asked for more from him, how was he to even know that there WAS a next step or that I was waiting for one?
Two lessons here:
1. Relationships won’t grow unless you add a little pressure. By that I mean asking for something more than you’ve asked for in the past. However–be sure in your heart that you really are offering a choice. That means that they can say NO and you’re still OK with it.
2. You must clearly communicate–out loud preferably—what you want. Hollywood has us believing that if someone “really” loves us and “really” understands us that they will know what we want without us even saying anything. What a bunch of baloney? Do your loved ones a favor and express your desires.
Just in case you’re wondering, these lessons apply whether you’re talking about personal or professional relationships. Horses are funny like that–the lessons they teach us serve us in any arena.